i wish its was the 60's, i wish we could be happy...i wish, i wish that something would happen

i just finished watching the movie HollywoodLand with Adrien Brody (and Ben Aflleck -_-).
it was a potpourri of all the clichés i can remember of being fed with in my childhood.
set back in the very late1950's...
it reminded me of the time when i fell in love with literature by reading Sartre.
the book that really shook my life is i think La Nausée.
this was perhaps one of the rare moments when i felt like i really relate to what this cynical character was feeling and going through.
this was also the period when i was getting consciousness about myself and decided to, at least try, to start using this thingy i have up between my two ears...
i really would like to live in those days where everywhere you look people are always smoking (first of all i should be able to smoke!)
and the first thing to do in the morning is to get up from bed, have a scotch, a good round of morning sex and do what you wanna do...
that sounds so untrue!!
but i'd like to empty a bottle of Jack Daniel's everyday while seeing my adult life sinking like the Titanic...
that would be so great to live at the same era as Sartre, Camus, Capote, Cash and all the other great thinkers... and also to have jazz music everywhere...

i think that i might be back on track
today i've been out to buy a waterheater for home..
then i worked the whole day on the paper on mauritian blog languages...
i think that i'm slowly becoming half the nerd(aber keine Klugsheißer!) i used to be.. at least i'm gaining the interest in research back...
and i really like the subject for in some way i'm kind of thinking of the real reasons why i'm blogging..
as far as i can remember, on my first post i mentionned 'Why not'...
well perhaps there is another reason behind it...
i'm somehow discovering myself.. trying to be more open to myself...
maybe the fact that it's something that goes public gives me the incentive to once in a while write some of the many thoughts i have ..
and also knowing that actually pretty few people read it and that i no one's actually following my post breaks down an barrier as for the difficulties i might have to express myself..
and i find it pretty nice to be able to jot down my thoughts, feelings, experiences and pictures.
i believe that everyone has a specific reason why he/she blogs;
maybe to have more self conviction and be able to stand for their opinion, or to share with the online community their ideological point of view, to publish the artistic side of someone, to evade from the mundane routine and be someone else...
all in all blogging remains a narcissistic cerebral masturbation..