Rainy day, dream away

Hey man, take a look out the window 'n' see what's happenin'
Hey man, it's rainin'
It's rainin' outside man
Aw, don't worry 'bout that
Everything's gonna be everything
We'll get into somethin' real nice you know
Sit back and groove on a rainy day
Yeah
Yeah I see what you mean brother, lay back and groove.

Rainy day, dream away
Ah let the sun take a holiday
Flowers bathe an' ah see the children play
Lay back and groove on a rainy day.

Well I can see a bunch of wet creatures, look at them on the run
The carnival traffic noise it sings the tune splashing up 'n'
Even the ducks can groove rain bathin' in the park side pool
And I'm leanin' out my window sill diggin' ev'rything
And ah and you too.

Rainy day, rain all day
Ain't no use in gettin' uptight
Just let it groove its own way
Let it drain your worries away yeah
Lay back and groove on a rainy day hey
Lay back and dream on a rainy day


still raining today
it might not be raining that much but it's enough to get me grounded
here i'm posting pictures from my small yesterday trip
they are from my phone camera... so excuse me for the low quality

i wanted to capture the island with a coming cyclone
it's pretty impressive.. you kinda feel like in the middle of a whirl
this is also a view of Quatre-Bornes from the Candos Hill








The last two pictures are of the track that i had to make because of this weird guy that i met when i started climbing and who mentionned a special bike track... which i never found... so the climbing was somehow hard.
uphill; 20:14:58
downhill: 13:40:81










At the extremity of the hill was this pole which i climbed to have a better view... i didn't see any other utility of it...

shrinking spaces

this morning i woke up early for some Mountain biking session at Candos Hill
It was awesome to go get lost (somehow unintentionally)
i felt good to hit the trails although it was raining

but...

i had the worst day ever since a lot of days
i unfortunately saw Cindy in the Caudan Waterfront Foodcourt today
with her new date
how uncool is that?
sometimes i tend to take everything as a competition
if this breakup would be a competition i think that i'd be the one who lost the game
i was the one who invited her for lunch (and dinner)
she was the one to refuse
i was the one to see her at the opposite table
she wasn't the one who left with a huge red face full of anger
i guess the list is much longer
but hey i don't know if i'm misreading or taking all blame on me
anyways i hate the fact of me being wrong or something not going as i thought it'd be!

i may not be a good writer
i may not express myself as i wish i would
i may not write in a linear form but i think that i don't care
i mean it's pretty hard for me to keep this blog because usually after writing everyline of it
i use to think of a lot of stylistic matters...

it seems that i'm not good at all in expressing my emotions and feelings
this is the reason why i moved out of my parents place
having a certain distance from them (more that it was from the time i was living there)
helped me at least to have a conversation with my mother
and now?
i couldn't explain to myself the reason why i left this table
it's just that i could not finish my dim sum
and i NEVER stop eating... NEVER...
bottom line; all i did was to take the bus home as far as possible to meet my only buddy Green Island
Hide my head; i wanted to drown my sorrow... hoping for no tomorrow
but the phone rang... why did i have to turn it on again...

now here it goes feeling just trapped in circles again
gosh i just wanna find a way out of it all
i'm just tired of loosing everything in my life again...

and even all these days i couldn't stop thinking about her...
and here it's 18:20
i've been sleeping a lot this afternoon....
this night will be long and painful

this picture above shows somehow i feel today...

Realm of improbability

8:38- wake up
although i've been to bed at nearly 4 am i couldn't sleep much longer, just as everyday
felt like having a lazy monday. i guess that a few people have the chance to enjoy such moments
9:35- shower
outside was somehow greyish and it was starting to rain slowly
i was so glad because i'd be able t have a rainy day
on rainy days i like to have a hot shower, then a nice breakfast and do whatever i feel like
this feeling of being in your towel with your clean body and nice hot coffee and raining outside makes me feel so peaceful
10:06- coffee time
10:19- a change of plans?
it seems that the weather is getting clear
how am I gonna stay home?
10:21-Pink FLoyd's The Wall is on
saw Nina's chat and she'll be dropping by soon for a small trip to the east
17:04- Back home
Met Laryssa, Nina's friend from Germany and we took a small trip to Belle-Mare for some snorkelling but the weather was very windy (i heard that there is a cyclone in the region) and i was the only one to bring snorkeling equipments also![pic; Nina on the Belle-Mare beach talking to Laryssa's foot]
So, we set off to the Waterpark which was not for from our spot
we had much fun there.. we had some improvised races that i couldn't simply win because my ass was a handicap when sliding down the attractions! we also swam against the wave and to the source of it in the wave pool! Nice sensation where you feel that you are about to die underwater!
17:22- outta shower
pasta eating and web surfing
some left-overs from Saturday was still remaining!
20:05;
I'm still hungry and might go for some soup pretty soon
Since i'm reading a lot of blogspot blogs lately my mind is set off to the various adventurous life i could be leading. This blog from Charlotte Rose is so amazing. To me, this sentence summarizes it all "I spend all my money travelling and then return home to make some more."
The hell how cool and great to be leading such a life. This blog deserves to be on my blogs i love list.

"we are standing on the edge"

Sundays can be really depressing
but since i'm in Quatre-Bornes it gets different
the town is lively with the fair and so on...
weird experience that i had yesterday...
my head was spinning so much and it happened again the whole day
i had a soup as diner and i guess it's quite easy to prepare it

was just browsing some blogs and i realized that lately this feeling of powerlessness which is mine is mainly due to the fact that i not only feel but am fruitless
it's been a serious decline as i don't feel much of that urge i use to have for art in every form
this constant will to be able to make something out of myself.
i also feel like loosing the touch for social research
today i was on the verge of quiting college
but still i feel compelled about my future
who am i gonna be? what am i gonna do? how will i be able to help people?
i guess the reason i go out much lately is to forget about all these
and i don't have art anymore in my life

bottom line i lost will to live
Cindy was perhaps one of them
and it's when you don't have something that you realize how important it might be
it seems like what bothers me more about this break-up is the fact that i have been wrong
why am i so obsessed about always making the right move?

i just also recall that i'm a huge word eater
i've just been scooping through some of my past posts and in all of them some words are missing
i'm so impulsive; this is so obvious by the drastic shift and lack of flow in my thoughts

where is my mind?

the Philosophy of Time Travel

WARNING; DO NOT READ THIS BEFORE WATCHING DONNIE DARKO
I wanted to post a continuous version of the Philosophy of Time-Travel after having a recent conversation about my probable interpretation of Donnie Darko.
Finding the pages of the book was quite hard and this helped me in understanding the movie much more.
The book is not real; Richard Kelly (the director) wrote it during the editing stages of the film, and was intending to incorporate it into the original version but time and budget constraints prevented this. The Director's Cut restores the original vision of the pages that Richard Kelly wanted. These are the only pages of the book; although the book Dr. Monnitoff gives to Donnie seems to have many pages, only those which are on the web site and DVD have been shown. It is assumed these were the only pages created, for the web site.
Down is the two-pages appendix

The Philosophy of Time-Travel
Roberta Sparrow
1944

foreword
I would like to thank the sisters of the Saint John
Chapter in Alexandria, Virginia for their support
(in my decision).
	By the grace of God, they are:
	Sister Eleance Lewis
	Sister Francesca Godard
	Sister Helen Davis
	Sister Catherine (Arnold)
	Sister Mary Lee Pond
	Sister Virginia (Weaver)
....This intent(?) of this short book is for it to be used as a
simple and direct guide in a time of great danger.
I pray that this is merely a work of fiction.
If it is not, then I pray for you, the reader of this book.
....If I am still alive when the events
foretold in these pages occur, then I hope that you
will find me before it is too late.
Roberta Ann Sparrow
October, 1944 Chapter One The Tangent Universe ....The Primary Universe is fraught with great peril. War, plague, famine and natural disaster are common. Death comes to us all. ....The Fourth Dimension of Time is a stable construct, though it is not impenetrable. ....Incidents when the fabric of the fourth dimension becomes corrupted are incredibly rare. ....If a Tangent Universe occurs, it will be highly unstable, sustaining itself for no longer than several weeks. ....Eventually it will collapse upon itself, forming a black hole within the Primary Universe capable of destroying all existence. Chapter Two Water And Metal Water and Metal are the key elements of Time Travel. ....Water is the barrier element for the construction of Time Portals used as gateways between Universes at the Tangent Vortex. ....Metal is the (transitional) element for the construction of Artifact Vessels. Chapter Four The Artifact And The Living ....When a Tangent Universe occurs, those living nearest to the Vortex will find themselves at the epi- center of a dangerous new world. ....Artifacts provide the first sign that a Tangent Universe has occurred. ....If an Artifact occurs, the Living will retrieve it with great interest and curiosity. Artifacts are formed from metal, such as an Arrowhead from an ancient Mayan civilization, or a Metal Sword from Medieval Europe. ....Artifacts returned to the Primary Universe are often linked to religious iconography; as their appearance on Earth seems to defy logical explanation. ....Divine Intervention is deemed the only logical con-. clusion for the appearance of the Artifact. Chapter Six The Living Receiver ....The Living Receiver is chosen to guide the Artifact into position for it's journey back to the Primary Universe. No one knows how or why a Receiver will be chosen. ....The Living Receiver is often (blessed) with a Fourth Dimensional Power(s). These include increased strength, telekinesis, mind control, and the ability to conjure fire and water. ....The Living Receiver is often tormented by terrifying dreams, visions and auditory hallucinations during his time within the Tangent Universe. ....Those surrounding the Living Receiver, known as the Manipulated, will fear him and try to destroy him. Chapter Seven The Manipulated Living ....The Manipulated Living are often the close friends and neighbors of the Living Receiver. ....They are prone to irrational, bizarre, and often violent behavior. This is the unfortunate result of their task, which is to assist the Living Receiver in returning the Artifact to the Primary Universe. ....The Manipulated Living will do anything to save themselves from Oblivion. Chapter Ten The Manipulated Dead ....The Manipulated Dead are more powerful than the Living Receiver. If a person dies within the Tangent Dimension, they are able to contact the Living Receiver through the Fourth Dimensional Construct. The Fourth Dimensional Construct is made of Water. ....The Manipulated Dead will manipulate the Living Receiver using the Fourth Dimensional Construct (see Appendix A and B). ....The Manipulated Dead will often set an Ensurance Trap for the Living Receiver to ensure that the Artifact is returned safely to the Primary Universe. ....If the Ensurance Trap is successful, the Living Receiver is left with no choice but to use his Fourth Dimensional Power to send the Artifact back in time into the Primary Universe before the Black Hole collapses upon itself. Chapter Twelve Dreams ....When the Manipulated awakens from their Journey into the Tangent Universe, they are often haunted by the experience in their dreams. Many of them will not remember. ....Those who do remember the Journey are often over- come with profound remorse for the regretful actions buried within their Dreams, the only physical evidence buried within the Artifact itself, all that remains from the lost world. ....Ancient myth tells us of the Mayan Warrior killed by an Arrowhead that had fallen from a cliff, where there was no Army, no enemy to be found. ....We are told of the Medieval Knight mysteriously impaled by the sword he had not yet built. We are told that these things occur for a reason. NOTES LIVING RECEIVER Donnie Darko MANIPULATED DEAD Frank Anderson, Gretchen Ross (not her real name) MANIPULATED LIVING Edmund Darko, Rose Darko, Elizabeth Darko, Samantha Darko, Katherine Farmer, Elisabeth Farmer, Jim Cunningham (died October, 1988) Kenneth Monnitoff, Karen Pomeroy, Garry Cole, Cherita Chen, Seth Devlin, Ricky Danforth, Joanie James, Susan Bates, Sean Smith, Leroy Jones, Michael Carier, Linda Connie, Roberta Sparrow

28 days, 6 hours, 42 minutes and 12 seconds.

Am I that desperate?

it seems I am...
this evening I've been sleeping myself off so hard that when i woke i thought that i passed out
it was only 7 30pm
and then it happened...
i went off on St. Jean Road
walked to the fast-food
ordered burger, French fries and coke...
yes i did it...
and the mayonnaise was so eurk...
this made me realize that something might not be working
i think that not being alone does not mean been not being lonely
and after loneliness...
then say hi to emptiness
and that sucks the hell of a lot
i shall be doomed...